I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
