I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
