this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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