if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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