i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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