is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
