I'm drive I can fine osifer
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
