Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
