i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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