I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
