Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
