My nipple is on Facebook.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
