I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
