umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
