why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My vagina is officially offended.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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