I am in a vortex of obligation.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
