At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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