He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
