So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
