Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
