Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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