I can tuck mytits in my pants
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize