i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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