i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
