I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
