is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
