well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
