dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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