So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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