went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
