I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
