ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
