I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
