She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
