Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
