I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
