Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
