Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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