Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
