There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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