how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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