I heard we made out
oh god the rape fog is back!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
