you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
