I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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