I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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