Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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