brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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