they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
