i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
