I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
