There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
