BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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