i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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