the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
