I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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