Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Anonymoustyle hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.

Fav 41 1407 3143
share tweet
(580): View more from Oklahoma

That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.

Fav 77 2889 5233
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii

Fav 19 6840 978
share tweet
(208): View more from Idaho

Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly

(1-208): View more from Idaho

What is a GED?

Fav 47 1332 10264
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.

Fav 7 1111 4713
share tweet
(661): View more from California

I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.

Fav 5 1308 2679
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"

Fav 16 4024 1414
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

She went to her drug test stoned.

(636): View more from Missouri

And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.

Fav 5 1031 615
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.

Fav 0 53 17
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT