Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
