I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
