Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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