I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i was born a porn star she said
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
