Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
