More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The struggles of a small town man whore
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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