there was a trapeze. enough said
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
