please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
