no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
