rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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