I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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