I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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