I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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